Coping afterwards

There are a number of things you can do to help your child cope after the emergency.

Remember that he is likely to be confused, probably frightened, anxious and stressed.

Depending on how old he is, he will express those feelings in different ways.

The toddler may become very clingy. The teenager may stay in his room and become very morose.

You may find it hard to cope with his feelings because you are still struggling with your own feelings too. So take care of yourself. Sometimes professional counselling may be needed for either or both of you.
 

Offer reassurance.

Physical comfort, hugs and cuddles; and words of reassurance. They need to hear words like 'We're going to be alright.' Tell the frightened child it is OK to feel frightened. Tailor the words and physical acts to suit your child's personality and age.
 

Keep up the family routines.

Those routines are vital as they provide a reassuring framework even when everything else is confusing. Bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes, homework, family chores - keep them all going as before, but keep it calm and firm.
 

Talk about the emergency.

Provide opportunities for your child to talk - about what happened, how he feels. We all get a better sense of control by talking about our feelings or other things. Share your feelings and how you have learnt to cope, but don't pressure him to talk.
 

Play games.

There is nothing like physical activity to work out emotional stress. Make sure there is plenty of opportunity to play games both solitary games such as working play-dough and group games. Make them family events - it will help everyone, including you.
 

Be watchful.

Watch out for changes in behaviour - they may indicate your child is not coping well with the stress and anxiety. Typically these changes will involve reverting to earlier forms of behaviour. Toddlers may start thumb sucking or bedwetting. Teenagers may become more aggressive or not be able to concentrate on their school work.
 

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