Children and a family crisis
All families have a major crisis at some time. It may be life changing.
You never know when it will come or what form it will take - sickness, death, relationship breakdown, accident, imprisonment, job loss, suicide, homelessness - the list is endless.
But whatever the crisis may be, it will disrupt family life and plans. It will be very worrying and almost inevitably will involve additional and unexpected costs. It will put strain on the adult family members as they cope with their feelings and emotions while at the same time work to sort things out.
This may involve working longer hours to meet the additional costs. In fact one of the major risks for the adults in this situation is that they exhaust themselves either physically or emotionally.
Providing support and protection for children during a crisis is one of the main responsibilities of family adults. That's why it is vital that the adults take care of themselves so that they have the emotional and physical strength to be able to do this.
A pre-occupied, worried and physically exhausted parent runs the risk of overlooking their children's needs, or alternatively, overburdening young children with additional family responsibilities and worries. In order to be able to be strong and to cope it is sometimes necessary to seek support.
Keeping family life going can seem like the hardest part of being a parent during a family crisis. Yet it is vital for children that you keep the daily routines, disciplines and chores going. Those routines and chores act as the glue that keeps everyone on track during the crisis. You may have other things on your mind, things that seem much more important than whether Tony has set the table or not. But it will help Tony cope if that daily routine is maintained.
Almost inevitably any sort of family crisis is initially going to disrupt the family routines. Perhaps a family member is taken out of the family circle for a while because they have been hospitalised, moved out, or been sent to prison, for example.
Whatever the family crisis may be, try and get things back to normal as as soon as you can. Try and keep the same routines, if possible, for getting the children up, dressed, breakfasted and off to school.
Similarly, bed times should not change, homework routines should be quickly restored, and daily or weekly chores should still be done.
And don't forget to quickly restore the fun and play routines. They are vital to the child.
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